Matchmakers From Hell!
by Immortal Magic Freak
Summary: *One-shot for TheMinnesotanInitiate.* Damon and Majestic really like each other. The rest of team know, but they refuse to tell the other. One day, after work, the whole team go out...and Penelope comes up with an idea to get the two young lovebirds together. Emily and David join Penelope in this little plan. But, will it work? Will the two come together? Includes 2 OCs, and team.


**Authors Notes: HEY! Ok, so this is the second Criminal Minds one-shot I have written, so this shall be interesting XD I hope this goes alright...to be honest, just a little nervous XD So, TheMinnesotanInitiate, I hope you enjoy XD**

**I own nothing and no one you recognise :) Please review XD**

* * *

**Damon**

Majestic and I had been on the BAU team for just over a year now. We were the youngest – she being eighteen, I being nineteen. Majestic had pushed through high school faster than most students our age, and last year – when she was seventeen – she'd met with Dr. Spencer Reid multiple times on the theories of the criminal impulse before she was invited in. I, having already being close to Majestic, and known her for so long, the team had been introduced to me multiple times, before the Unit realized my immense fighting skill, and hidden talent for interrogation. I was brought into the unit not long after Majestic. We got along well with the team, and built up friendships with all of them, as well as building on the one we already had with each other.

* * *

It was just a boring day at the BAU. We had just recently finished a case, and we were all finishing off the paperwork that went with it. It was when we had to do paperwork that I envied Spencer the most. Then again, I think everyone did. I slumped back in my chair, letting my eyes wonder. Then my eyes landed on the long curly blonde hair and hazel eyes I always found myself staring at. Majestic was laughing with Derek, JJ and Spencer. I loved her laugh. I loved her. But she didn't know that.

"Oh, lover boy, you've got it bad." Penelope said.

I jumped up into the air, landed on my chair wrong and...well; I landed on the floor on my arse..._hard_. Not forgetting hitting my head on the front of my desk.

"Jesus Christ, G! Are you trying to kill me?!" I groaned, clutching my forehead.

"I am _so _sorry!" Penelope gasped, running round my desk to help me up. "Oh my God! Damon, you're bleeding!"

"Don't worry, it's just a little cut."

"But still. You, sit."

I sighed. Being the second youngest – at only nineteen – sometimes sucked. You always had Penelope and JJ being all mother hen-ish, and you had the guys – not Spencer, since he knew how it felt – trying to protect you from everything treating you like a child. Emily and Spencer were the only two that treated Majestic and I like the adults we were. I mean, we were since I was nineteen and she was eighteen – we were young yes, but we were damn good at our jobs. Penelope ran out of the bullpen to get...God knows what. For all I knew, she had hospital equipment hidden away in that lair of hers...though that wouldn't actually surprise me. I sighed again, dragging myself up onto my chair again. Thank _God_ for the padded seat!

"Damon, you alright man?" Derek asked.

I knew he was amused at the situation, but hid it since I don't think he wanted to feel the wrath of Penelope and JJ.

"I'm fine, Derek." I replied. "But don't worry, if I'm going o throw up, I'll make sure I'm standing next to you."

"Ok, not the time." Derek breathed, backing off.

It was then Aaron came out of his office.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes." I replied, before anyone could open their mouths.

He nodded once, before disappearing back into his office. Penelope came rushing back into the bullpen as soon as the door to Aaron's office closed.

"Bloody hell." I muttered. "Pen, I. Am. Fine. So please, for the love of _all_ that is holy, _stop_ fussing! _Please_!"

"At least put the plaster on and take the aspirin." Penelope said.

"If it will mean you'll stop, then fine."

So, Penelope covered the tiny cut on my forehead with the plaster, and I threw the aspirin down my throat, washing them down with water.

"There, done, all good now." I smiled, chuckling slightly.

Even though she didn't like it, Penelope did stop fussing. I leant back in my chair, letting my eyes wander again. This time I found Majestic watching me. She gave a small smile and mouthed 'ok'; I just nodded.

* * *

After work that day, we all went out to a bar. As always, most of the team – Emily, Derek, Majestic and Penelope – were dancing, while the rest of us sat out. I just stared off into space. JJ had come back to the table moments before I zoned out, and to be honest I had no idea what was going on or being said at the moment. All I knew is that I was letting my mind wander.

"...mon? Damon?!" someone yelled.

I snapped back to reality, and whipped my head round to the right. JJ had been calling my name, and looked highly amused.

"What?" I asked.

"We lost you for a second." JJ giggled. "What were you daydreaming about?"

"Nothing. Hey, Spence, any interesting facts on daydreaming?"

Spencer looked up, smiling. He knew I was always up for learning something new, and knew I was always up to hear him 'ramble'.

"Sure. Did you know that, in contrast to what its name may suggest, daydreaming seems to be quite different from the dreams experienced during sleep? An interesting fact about daydreaming is that "the seemingly continual stream of consciousness is discontinuous, consisting of a sequence of concatenated, psycho physiological building blocks, that follow each other in fractions of seconds". Daydreaming is often looked down upon, as John McGrail, a Los Angeles clinical hypnotherapist, explains. He explains how "Daydreaming is looked upon negatively because it represents 'non-doing' in a society that emphasizes productivity…. We are under constant pressure to do, achieve, produce, and succeed". Sigmund Freud even believed that fantasies were the creations of the unfulfilled and that daydreaming and fantasy were early signs of mental illness." Spencer replied.

I blinked a little owlishly. How the hell did he store everything without his brain exploding, or something?

"Geez Spence." I grinned.

JJ sighed beside me, sounding annoyed. I cringed slightly. I should have known she wouldn't let it slide.

"You were thinking about her again weren't you?" JJ asked.

"Thinking about whom?" Emily asked, walking back over to the table.

"Majestic."

"Really Damon, again? Just ask her out already!"

"I can't." I groaned. "It's difficult, you don't get it."

"Who we talking about?" Penelope asked, joining us.

This was not going well for me.

"A certain blonde haired hazel eyed eighteen year old girl, who may or may not be part of our team." Rossi replied.

"Oh, baby boy, you really _do _have it bad." Penelope sighed.

I would have started bashing my head against the table, but I didn't really want my head to start pounding again. So, I settled with burying my head in my hands, trying to block them out. Unfortunately, it didn't work. After five minutes, a hand was on my shoulder. I looked up slightly. After seeing that long curly blonde hair. I sat up properly.

"Aren't you going to come dance? You don't normally sit out all night." Majestic asked.

"I'm just not in a dance-y mood tonight." I replied.

"Oh come on! Please? Just one dance?"

"Fine. Just _one_."

Majestic smiled, took my hand and dragged me out onto the dance floor. Penelope was right. I did have it bad.

* * *

**Penelope**

_Boys_! So blind to things that are staring them right in the face. How could Damon not see that Majestic liked him to? It was so painstakingly obvious. Well, it was to me. But then gain I am the most observant of the team, and just generally all around awesome!

"Right, I have an idea, and I need a team up for the job. It's not as good as my others, this one's really simple, but will be effective and is still brilliant. Who's with me?" I ask.

"Does this 'idea' have anything to do with the two members of our team that are currently dancing?" Emily asked.

"Maybe."

"Then I'm in."

"Count me in too. I need something to do." David said.

Everyone else backed out though. Wusses. But hey, three would do perfectly.

"So Pen, what's your idea?" Emily asked.

"Well, my team of mischief matchmakers, my fool proof, amazingly brilliant, fantastic plan, goes a little something like this…." I replied.

* * *

**Majestic**

"Damon, are you alright?" I asked, as we continued to dance. "You haven't been acting like yourself for the past couple of weeks."

"I'm fine, don't worry." Damon replied, with a small smile.

He really was a terrible liar. Honestly, I had known him for so long. I stood still.

"Come on, you can't lie to me." I told him.

"Look, it's….just a little complicated." Damon sighed.

I took his hand in mine. It was times like these when I was glad I was a girl, and could get away with all the touching and stuff. I kept my eyes on Damon, and I was pretty sure I saw him blush. But then again, that could have been wishful thinking.

"You know you can tell me anything." I said.

"I know I can." Damon nods.

"So, are you going to tell me?"

"I don't know…."

"Please?"

Damon seemed to give in straight away.

"It's just….I really like y-someone, and I can't tell y-them." Damon muttered.

I could barely hear him over the music in the bar, so I dragged him towards the entrance where it was a bit quieter. As we walked, I thought about what he said, and how he slipped up on some of the words. He couldn't possibly…. Could he?

"Why can't you tell them?" I asked when we were by the door.

"Well, I….I just don't….I…." Damon stuttered. "I don't know."

"Nervous."

"Of course."

"Why?"

"I've known them for a long time and….and I just don't want things to be strange between me and them if they don't like me the same way. I mean, they're my best friend, and I don't know if I could live without being as close to them as I am now."

"Who is it?"

Damon seemed to panic for a moment, eyes widening slightly before returning to normal size.

"J-Just someone." Damon replied.

"Damon…." I started.

"Oi, you. Come dance! _Now_!" Emily interrupted.

Emily curled a hand around my elbow and dragged me away from Damon. I glanced back, only to see that he had been cornered by David and Penelope. What were they up to?

* * *

**Damon**

So, I had just gotten out of an awkward conversation, and now I was most likely going to be dragged into another.

"What are you going to try and make me do this time?" I asked.

"Now why do you ask that?" David asked, feigning innocence.

"Well, I know you both. I also know Emily."

"And, that means nothing."

"It might also have something to do with the fact that I know Pen here, won't drop _anything_."

David stopped talking. No one could argue with that. I mean, when Penelope Garcia starts something, she follows through….she never gives up. _Never_. Sometimes that's a good thing….other times it's annoying.

"So, what's your master plan this time?" I asked.

"No _'master' _plan. Just making two people realize one little thing." Penelope replied.

I caught on quite quickly. Why David and Penelope had – literally – cornered me. Why Emily had dragged Majestic off. My eyes practically fell out of my head and my jaw near enough shattered on the ground.

"Shit!" I breathed.

I tried to push through Penelope and David, but David was surprisingly strong. I gave up after a few minutes, slouching against the wall.

"If this ends badly, I will never forgive you three." I sighed.

"Good thing it won't end badly." David smirked.

"And how do you know?"

"Because she likes you too. And not in the friend kind of way either."

"How do you know?"

"Penelope noticed it."

"Well I am amazing." Penelope admitted.

I stayed quiet for a while. That couldn't be right….could it? Majestic just thought of me as a friend. Right?

"Come on kid, you're smart." David told me. "Think. Today, if anyone else bashed their head on their desk while falling off of their chair, she would have been laughing with the rest of us. But she wasn't. She glared at us until she was about ready to kill us."

"Yeah, because she's my…." I started.

"No. She likes you. Know you should go over there, and tell her."

"But she…."

"If you don't then that guy at the bar will." Penelope interrupted.

I glanced over at the bar. Penelope was right. The guy looked just about ready to walk over to where Emily and Majestic were standing, and….yeah.

"Ok. I will." I breathed.

* * *

**Emily**

"You're joking." Majestic said, surprised.

I shook my head. I had explained why it was Damon had been acting so weird this past couple of weeks, and why he acted so shy and nervous around her. I told her that Damon was in love with her, and had been for a while now.

"Nope, not joking." I replied. "The poor boy is crazy about you. The whole team knows. Mainly because Penelope spotted it and blabbed to all of us, and he promised us not to tell you, because he said he couldn't face it if you didn't feel the same about him."

"Prove it, and then I'll believe you." Majestic replied.

"Always the stubborn one you are. Right, in a minute subtly look over to where we left him, Pen and Dave, and see if he's staring at you."

"But that won't prove…."

"And then, look at the expression on his face. Look to see if he's absolutely petrified and wants to run away and hide."

Majestic did as I said. When she turned to the corner where we had left our three team mates, her eyes widened slightly.

"Anyone could have…." Majestic started.

"Come on, you of all people must have known something was up with him." I interrupted. "And I know you like him too, so I know that you know that look means he likes you, because you look at him the same way when you think me, Pen or JJ are talking to him. You wanna know why, because you think we've figured it out, and we're telling him you like him."

"How did you…."

"Pen noticed. She's really good at noticing these kinds of things. I would since I was a profiler, but Pen's too good."

She nodded slowly, long blonde curls bobbing. I guess it was quite a bit of information to take in….but we were all used to it, since we worked with Spencer. Good thing I didn't rush everything like Spencer.

"So, Damon…." Majestic started.

"Yup." I said."

"And you know I…."

"Yup."

"What do you think I…."

"Go for it. Otherwise that girl at the bar will."

I looked towards that bar. There was in fact a girl staring at Damon, looking about ready to jump him.

"Really think I should?"

"Do all of us, plus the pair of you, a favor and do it. You can thank us later."

"Ok….I will. But you have to take Dave and Pen away, because as much love you three, it'll be awkward with you standing there."

"Done."

Well, Penelope was right. This plan was simple, yet effective and still brilliant.

* * *

**Damon**

This was going to end badly, I just knew it was. Things like this normally ended badly. Then again, Penelope was behind it, so maybe it might work? But what if it didn't? If it didn't then I would be screwed, and things would be very awkward, and I would have to murder three of my team mates. Besides, I didn't really want to murder three of my team mates, they were very good friends of mine. As I stood there, slumped against the wall, having this inner monologue, I didn't notice that Emily and Majestic were making their way over, while Penelope, David and I made their way over to them. I didn't notice until Penelope, David and Emily were walking away, so Majestic and I were left with only each other by the bar. We had met in the middle. The pair of us just stood there. My heart was racing, and I couldn't find anything to say. Even if I could, I wouldn't trust my voice at this moment in time. I was starting to have second thoughts and losing my courage, but when I was about to make some lame excuse, so we could just forget all of this….was when she kissed me. Just a quick peck on the lips, but still a kiss.

"Emily told me." Majestic told me, quietly. "She told me everything."

I swear to God my face was on fire. Emily had told her everything. And then she kissed me. My brain was having trouble processing everything, but I was taking this as a good sign. I cleared my throat.

"So it is the same for you then." I said, chuckling slightly.

"No, I just kissed you for the hell of it." Majestic replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, before she became serious. "Of course I like you to, dumb dumb."

I couldn't help but grin like an idiot.

"Dave wasn't lying." I said. "So….wanna go out tomorrow night?"

"Damon, I've been waiting for a while for you to ask me that." Majestic laughed.

"Well, I am terribly sorry to keep you waiting."

"You're forgiven."

The pair of us laughed, and made our way back to the team. But, of course, that was after we had a dance or two – ok more like five or six, but that doesn't matter.

* * *

"Finally!" Derek smirked, as Majestic and I walked over, still hand in hand. "About time something happened with you two."

"You're welcome." Penelope sang.

"And you thought this would end badly." David laughed.

"Proved." Emily muttered.

"Thank God." JJ sighed, smiling.

"Took you long enough." Spencer grinned.

"Good thing I know this won't affect your work." Aaron said. "At least we don't need to put up with the moaning anymore."

I shook my head at the seven of them. It was a given Aaron would bring up work….but that didn't matter. What mattered was everything seemed better.

"Oh, and Damon. That guy wasn't staring at Majestic." Penelope giggled.

"And Majestic, that girl wasn't staring at Damon." Emily smirked.

Majestic and I stared at them. What had they just said?!

"Jealousy. Best plan yet Penelope." David laughed.

Penelope did a silly looking bow. Majestic and I turned to face each other. Eyes slightly wide. We had been tricked. We had been tricked by two profilers and the BAUs Tech Analyst. With jealousy. Of all things. And over people we don't even know! But right now, I didn't care too much. To be honest, I was thinking about how brilliantly simple it was.

"We are the best matchmakers ever." Penelope said to David and Emily.

"Matchmakers from hell more like." Majestic and I muttered.

Everyone laughed. All in all, a great night.

* * *

_**Hope you liked it XD**_

_**Thanks to everyone who read this XD**_


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